You see a small house engulfed by ivy on the far end of the street. You can't tell if it's abandoned; either way, you're pretty sure it's haunted. Insects buzz past your head as they enter and leave the overgrown vegetation in the yard, and you notice a concerning number of potted plants crowded against the windows.

Against your better judgement, you approach the door. You prepare to knock, but the door creaks open on its own before you can. Yeah, this place is definitely haunted.

This website

I originally futzed around with what I will loosely refer to as web development from about 2009-2014 because I thought I could make the next Serebii. My dad made the ill-advised decision to let me use our family's web hosting (and, eventually, my own domain) to accomplish this.

Predictably, I did not make the next Serebii. After that, I had a few different blogging endeavors, but I ultimately fell off the train entirely around 2014 due to life stuff and the rise of social media. I ceased most public internet activity in 2020-2021, then made this website in 2022 because I missed making a fool of myself in public.

Me, the person(?)

Please, call me Kale. Mr. Chips was my father. I live on unceded Arapaho, Cheyenne, and Ute land, currently known as Colorado, USA. I was born in a year whose first digit is 1. I have undergraduate degrees in math and biology and a graduate degree in math. Right now, I teach math for a living, which allows me to pay bills and (more importantly) sustain my fountain pen and ink collection.

You can learn marginally more about me if you're willing to unpack this block of Geek Code. Or just use this decoder like a normal person.

Version 3.12
GM/S/ED d(+) a? C+ UL P+ L++ E-- W++ w M- PS+++ 
PE Y+ R tv- b+ G- e+++ h* z? 

I'm essentially an NPC, meaning I'm good at interacting with people but only if I'm approached first. Feel free to drop in my inbox and say hi!

Things I enjoy

  • Fresh peaches
  • Birdwatching
  • Movies that flopped (critically or financially, preferably both)
  • Sudoku
  • Oatmeal raisin cookies
  • Spreadsheets
  • Weird percussion instruments
  • Hiking
  • Indoor horticulture


  • The average of my glasses prescriptions between eyes is -7.25
  • I collect CDs and records and listen to music on a 15 year old iPod Classic
  • I've played in the pit for Cats and Hello, Dolly
  • My favorite time signatures are 5/4 and 6/8 and my favorite key signature is A natural minor


Useless information

Quiz results

You are olivedrab


Your dominant hues are green and yellow. There's no doubt about the fact that you think with your head, but you don't want to be seen as boring and want people to know about your adventurous streak now and again.

Your saturation level is higher than average - You know what you want, but sometimes know not to tell everyone. You value accomplishments and know you can get the job done, so don't be afraid to run out and make things happen.

Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.

the spacefem.com html color quiz


Order Coleoptera: The beetles. "There is a story, possibly apocryphal, of the distinguished British biologist, J.B.S. Haldane, who found himself in the company of a group of theologians. On being asked what one could conclude as to the nature of the Creator from a study of his creation, Haldane is said to have answered, 'An inordinate fondness for beetles.'"

What insect Order would you belong to?

Common Roly-Poly

You may be "common," but you're one in a million. Perhaps you get overshadowed by your louder, brighter friends, but everyone knows if they need a hand- whether it's moving or trimming down the mold in their yards, you're the one to call. Be bold, little roly-poly, and come out of your shell. The world awaits.

Which isopod are you?